It’s been almost two months since my last blog post. I’ve spent a good time polling people on how to tackle part two, what to say, where do they think I should go from here…Then, last night someone tried to break into my house while I was there and that’s when I realized – the world is never going to change.
So it seems that I’ve been asking the wrong questions and looking for impossible solutions. It seems in fact that we’re destined to live among heaviness and pain and disappointment and hate. This is no waiting game because the truth is, this world isn’t going to miraculously shift into Pine Tree, Vermont in the next scene (that was for you, Kelli). No. The world is never going to change.
Last December everything sucked. I was having health problems I didn’t know how to deal with, I was irritable, lonely and miserable and the sad truth was I didn’t see 2013 looking any better. Somewhere between the early months, something shifted within me and I realized that if I wanted different circumstances, I would need to make a conscious effort to change. To change my lifestyle. To change my relationships. To change my attitude.
I embraced this year with a new motto – to say yes at every opportunity. I said yes to new friendships, yes to late dinners, I even said yes when strangers asked to sit at my table at Taproom. And something miraculous happened in the process. My life wasn’t the only thing that changed, but the world around me started to shift in an extraordinary way.
Of course there were still bad days and sad moments, but something changes when your perception is different. Life looks differently from a dreary and disheartened heart verses a hopeful and joyful one. Looking back at these 350-ish days of snapshots I’ve come to realize that exciting possibilities occur when you allow yourself to be a little more fearless and say ‘yes’ a lot more. 2013 has made many better stories in 12 months than an accumulation of years past. Like…
– Getting to officiate a wedding
– Asking a perfect stranger out on a date
– Sitting at coffee shops and talking to people I don’t know
– Have those people I didn’t know become some of my favorite friends ever
– Running on the beach
– Making the most epic wedding speech of your life
– Spontaneously driving to several corn mazes and pumpkin patches in a weekend
– Learning the value of speaking my mind, saying what hurts me and in the same way telling people what makes me happy
One of the biggest encouragements this year has come in the form of friendships both new and old. In a year where it felt like a terrible devastation of relationships, there has come with it an overflow of kindness, loyalty and companionship.
Oh how much can change in a year. This time last year I felt unbelievable isolated and frustrated. But on the same day a year later, life seemed drastically different. As I sat in my room in the dark last night, waiting for whoever was outside to leave, I felt a sense of peace as my phone flickered with warm advice from dear friends. And without asking, in my small moment of loneliness, I had friends rush over to keep me company, to check around the house and go take extra measures to make sure I was safe.
The world may not change. Hate will still exist in our days. Wars will disrupt our lives and turmoil will linger in many, many unfortunate moments. But life can change. Life can be breathtakingly beautiful if we let it. We don’t have to sit around and wait for the trigger of a new outcome, we can make a conscious effort to change ourselves and our perceptions.
One of my dear friends sent me this quote while I was in the process of writing Part One of this blog. It says, “The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.” There’s something liberating of walking away from the things that hurt you and bring you down. There’s also something quite powerful and exciting about running towards the things that make you happy.
And that’s the wonderful thing about change. It happens when we least expect it. When we make movements toward something great without planned expectations. We can choose to wake up and make decisions for the better. We can remind people that they are appreciated and loved. We can do good, even if it’s simply buying the person’s coffee behind us. We can choose to see White Christmases instead of winter storms. We can find every opportunity to be present and available and thoughtful.
We can simple say yes.