There’s a reason why we grow up scared of the dark. It’s because we have no concept of what lies before us. For all we know, we could be inches away from walking into a wall, or into a hole in the ground, or someone could be there waiting for us to take one more step and then…BAM! I don’t know what happens after the BAM, but I don’t want to know. That is why I always turn on the lights before I enter a room.
This is why the unknown is difficult for me to grasp. I like to be able to assess my surroundings before I step into it. If a room is dark, I’m going to fumble for the light switch before I even attempt to take a first step.
Have you ever tried finding your way across the room when it’s dark? I have. I know if someone was watching me with night vision goggles, they would probably burst out laughing. I bend my entire body forward with both hands waving around in a circular motion as I tentatively take one step at a time, as if at any moment, I could step on a landmine. I know I look ridiculous, you don’t have to remind me.
Like I said, this is why the unknown is difficult for me to grasp. Whether it’s being worried about loving my job or if I’ll ever meet my future husband, the unknown is vast and dark and there are no light switches around and all of that terrifies me. That’s how I have been feeling lately. The uncertainty of everything has consumed my brain. I’m constantly tracing steps and different routes for my life because I have no idea what the big “plan” is for me.
But, in the midst of my anxiety, I’ve started to see that God calls us into these dark, unknown, scary rooms. Not because He wants to jump out and scare us but because He is calling us to be a light. He says that even the light from the smallest of candles has the power to light up a dark room. Which is pretty cool if you think about it.
I know I’ll always be scared of the unknown. It’s in my nature to worry and stop and then worry some more. But I’ve decided that I want to be a light. I want to be a light that helps equip other lights. Remember how I said I always turn on the lights before I even enter a room? That’s the kind of light I want to be. And if I can help them to not be so afraid of the dark, maybe I can conquer my own set of fears as well. Then before you know it, our eyes will adjust to our surroundings, and we’ll see that there is really nothing to be afraid of after all.